Comicbook World #63- Thunder Punch [Your name here]

If you were a fan of Thunderpunch He-man (and you know you WERE), the fine folks at Home Alarms and Personal Security Systems want to put similar power in your hands. That's right, you can now purchase a hand-held weapon that would allow any 100 pound weakling to knock a grown man on his ass with one punch! And it'll cost you less than a family night out at Red Lobster...

The way these kids are growling through this commercial has me dying... Before I move on, I wanna give props to my fellow deviantArtist Killersha for the dope Thunderpunch He-man short comic which is equal parts tribute and parody.
So anyways, as you can see the Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun is brass-knuckle shaped weapon that will deliver 950,000 Volts on contact, so as that dude Marq Spekt would say, "forget your chain, tuck your chin." I mean, this means any scrub can run up on you and deliver a lightning bolt to your grill! Plus the safety can be turned on and off with the thumb, which would allow that D n D kid you used'ta pick on to have one on each fist when he runs up on you. And at less than $50 each, the little dork can afford to have two (dorks always get better jobs).

Of course, my first thought when I saw this was of  classic Spider-man villain the Shocker, who had no powers, but wore souped-up gauntlets that made him capable of going a few rounds with the world-famous wall-crawler. My readers may remember that when I first wrote about real life superheroes like Phoenix Jones and his peers, I suggested that they needed a rich benefactor to give them better non-lethal armaments. Even I could afford $100 to hook Phoenix up with a couple of these electrified chin-checkers! Which is not to say I'm volunteering to sponsor my own superhero...
Hmmm...
Not yet, anyways!
holla!

-samax.  

2 comments:

corance said...

I blame Batman.

samax amen said...

now, now... It's nobodies fault, Corance. Necessity is, after all, the mother of invention!

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